Hello beautiful readers,
It’s been a long time!
Last year my husband almost died and my world crumbled. He is blessedly better now, although still on the road to recovery. Looking back, ten key practices helped me keep
it together when it would have been easy to fall apart.
10 Strategies to Keep It Together When Your World Is
Falling Apart
- Transcend Fear – While Sean was in the hospital, doctors and other specialists often gave us a long inventory of everything that might be wrong, tossing out scary words like septic, kidney failure, and oncology. When this became a trend and anxiety arose, I reminded myself that fear is simply, “Fanaticized Events Appearing Real,” and imagining every scenario that could go wrong wasn’t serving us. I asked the doctors to share what they knew instead of every scary outcome that could occur. With this new process, our fears subsided.
- Focus on the Now – While Sean was in the hospital, my motto became, “In this moment, all is well.” I defined “well” by the basics… he was alive, he was breathing, and as time passed, he was getting a little bit better every day. Staying focused in each moment helped me remain positive and hopeful.
- Use a Mantra – I came up with a couple of statements that I repeated over and over in my mind. These included the above referenced, “In this moment, all is well,” and “Things will get better; they always do.”
- Be Grateful – Even in the darkest of moments, I found I had something to be grateful for. Some days, it was a stretch, but when I focused on my husband’s breath, gazed at a tree in bloom, pet my dog or appreciated the warm spices in my tea, I felt an immediate lift.
- Question Everything – I asked myself questions every day. Some of my favorites: What is the evidence that this is the worst-case scenario? Are there other scenarios that are more hopeful? What is the evidence that nothing will change? Are there other possibilities that are more positive?
- Practice Positivity – Even though Sean was in the hospital for over a month, every day, we looked for blessings. When we looked, we found them…even on days when we received bad news. Instead of imagining all the scary stuff that could happen, we imagined healing, full recovery, and great wellness. Shifting our thoughts from scary to positive made us feel better, and I believe it contributed to Sean getting better, too!
- Ask and Receive Help – For many, it’s hard to ask for help. I used to struggle with this, but I’ve come to realize no matter how strong a person is, there are times when one needs help. I wouldn’t have made it through this situation sane without the help and support of so many people. Sometimes help comes from unexpected sources. I learned to say, “Yes…I need help…Thank you!” For example, my daughter’s best friend moved in with me to dog-sit and cook while I spent nine hours a day at the hospital. Later, our niece moved in to help after Sean was released from the hospital with very limited mobility.
- Take Care of Yourself – While it’s natural to put all of your time and effort into that big thing—here, I’m talking about my husband’s illness, but in the past, it’s been a large project, a critical deadline, or some major event—avoid doing so. It’s critical to take care of yourself, too. Every day, I took time to do something that renewed and restored me—I ate a special lunch, sat in silence next to a nearby creek, took a walk in the fields with my dog. I also got up early so I could meditate and exercise. The old saying is true…If your cup is empty, you’ll have nothing to give to others.
- Have Faith — For me, this was two-fold. First, I had to believe my husband would get better, and he had to believe, too. If you don’t have faith, it’s nearly impossible to materialize your desires. The second part is to look to a greater power for love, guidance, and support. We prayed. We asked God, our spirit guides, and the angels for help. I love the expression, “Let Go, Let God,” which reminds me there is a higher power who will help, but only if I ask.
- Fake It ‘Till You Make It – This cliché worked wonders for me. On some days, repeating my mantra fell flat, and practicing positivity and having faith was a challenge. On those days, I faked it. The simple act of faking it caused me to find a glimmer of hope, which expanded and over time, evolved into a beacon of light.
At some point in our lives, we all
experience trials and tribulations. It’s my hope that these practices will
help you through the next bump on your road of life.
Peace, Love, and Joy,
Sedona
Photo by Ben White
on Unsplash
